Live laugh & love

Mistakes

We all make mistakes and I realized mine when I saw you last week but it didnt feel so bad until last night…starting at around 5 I started to imagine how different I would be spending that time. Instead of being at a little girls birthday party I would be looking like a princess while you looked like a handsome prince, by my side taking pictures or talking or doing who knows what. Later I imagined us dancing to a million different songs with some of your friends and getting back in touch with people you see everyday and I hardly ever see. Chatting and dancing the night away. Everytime I saw the time tears brimmed my eyes but it wasnt the time or place and I have no right to shed tears being that it was my fault I wasnt there by your side. I made the mistake of letting you go when I should’ve kept trying and I definitly payed the consequences for my choices. I really do hope you enjoyed your night and had a blast even if I wish you would’ve tried at least a little to convince me to go with you after I said I changed my mind but you didnt even respond to it making me feel you really didnt want me to go with you but I guess I’ll never know unless I ask you but we arent even talking anymore so it would be pretty weird if I just randomly asked you…I hope you go to the conference this week so I can talk to you because I really need to just to clear some stuff up…I miss you like crazy and I cant stop thinking about you even though I probably cant say the same for you. I probably dont even pass through your mind all day…

Im sorry…

I wish i could have the courage to say this directly to you,but i don’t know how to. Im really sorry if i hurt you,but i got scared…I’ve been hurt so much by letting people in that i started to get attached to you but i didn’t see you doing the same and i decided to “run” so a repeat of things wouldn’t happen. Ive trusted and let so many people in my life and very few of them have actually stayed by my side most leave or betray me. I know i shouldn’t see everyone as being capable of doing the same especially someone like you that i have known for a long time,but this time things were different… I was and still am afraid of getting close to anyone especially you because i really like you but your leaving I’m sure we could make things work but first i have to be sure that you feel the same…you say you like me really like me but then some of your actions speak differently i don’t know if its me overreacting or what but that scares me more than anything. I know I’m just repeating myself but i don’t know how to express myself I’ve never been one to open up to others and let them know how i feel or what i think about in situations like this one. I just really want you to know that I’m sorry and i hope you can forgive me and i want to make it up to you but for that i need us to talk again so i can know what will make this up… I miss you and hopefully you’ll read this and ill grow the courage to actually say it directly to you…

Im not going to lie to myself and say I don’t miss you because I really do,but I was getting tired of waiting for you to want to talk to me…everyday was the same thing hardly any conversation from your side and Im tired of getting hurt being the one that wants to make things work all the time. Im guessing you had someone else in mind or idk you just got tired of me but whatever it was I hope your happy right now and I really wish I knew what was running through your head at that moment but Ill never know…oo and i know you’ll read this sooner or later or maybe you wont but it doesn’t matter anymore I guess…

Mood…

Honestly it bothers me when Im in this mood…upset to the point of wanting to cry but of course I’ve never been the kind to actually let myself cry so I hold all these emotions in. Today was yet another normal day but to me it felt off. Yea I smiled and laughed but it only lasted for awhile before this annoying little mood came back :/ I need to learn to not let what others say or do affect my moods…

Tomorrow is a new day…Welcome it with a smile

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow them."

— (via karlapowellmua)

dream-rocket:

GO AHEAD, take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong  for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Get to know someone random. BE random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh a stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell a jerk what you think. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Live life. Regret nothing.

lovequotesrus:

Photo Courtesy: allbecauseofu

I want a dress like that someday :)

(Source: disneyslove)

(Source: disneyslove)